The Other Guy

This is him. I'm in love~

SHUN OGURI

My Pet Peeve

Nobody is perfect.

How many of us haven’t heard that line before? Don’t raise your hand. See? I knew it. Everyone must have heard it at least once in their lives.

As much as I would love to be a perfectionist like what a lot of people say about me, I am not. Few know about my one little annoying habit – I love to procrastinate.

This holiday, I had a few things planned out:

1. Finish my induction assignment

2. Make some cross-stitch

3. Send my BFF a birthday card

4. Keep fit

5. Write in my blog regularly

Guess how many have I crossed out? Yes. Nada.

1. I’ve finished my log report and daily journal but I haven’t compiled them yet. So, it doesn’t count and school is just about 2 weeks away…

2. I haven’t even taken out the pattern from the plastic bag yet *shrugs*

3. I’ve finished making it but it’s still sitting comfortably on my table. Give me 3 good reasons not to send it, please? I’m sorry, Diana.

4. I do exercise and watch my diet. But not regularly. Now, I do something more useful like doing house chores that can help me burn the fat. Hope it’s working.

5. Need I elaborate?

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not really lazy but I just always find reasons not to do the stuff right away. It’s a sickness. But I do get things done pretty fast and nice if people put a high expectation on me. Sometimes, I even surprise myself. I guess, the key is to find someone who will push me.

One motivator, please!

Tales of the Prodigal Blogger

Note: This entry was written on 3rd May, 2009.

A series of unfortunate events. That is the tale that I'll tell you about today. But first thing's first.

Welcome back to myself!

It's the return of the prodigal blogger. What the hell. It's been a long, long while since I last blogged I almost forgot how to type ( -___- )

There are a lot of happenings lately (and by happenings, I mean, bad things - most of the time, anyway). First off, I would like to start with today's because it is the most significant one for me. Why? Because.... I've never experienced it before just because I'm always, always, always, punctual (relatively). Okay, fine. I admit there are times when I would turn up late, deliberately or undeliberately but I have NEVER been late for a flight before! NEVER. I repeat, NEVER. Unless it is someone else's fault or the flight is delayed which causes me to be late for the next flight, NO, I have never been late for any flight before. Now, I have.

There's a first time for everything, they say. Yeah, sure. And I sure hope as hell that this first time will be the last one as well. It cost me a lot of money. If you don't know how much, let me just tell you. A LOT. That's all you need to know. It's at times like this that I always think, "If only I had chosen KL instead of Penang. Or even better, if only I had chosen Kuching instead." ARRGGGGHHH.... But all these thoughts will vanish once the ordeal is over. But still... do you know how sakit hati I am to part with those notes????? I could have bought a lot of souvenirs back with all those money ( T___T ) - Bloody tears (I'm not cursing, just describing the tears)

Okay, here's how it all happened:

*Note: We are going in a reversed order because I'll tell you from the worst event to the least worse..

Event 1:

Today - 3/5/09

Missed our flight from Pen-KL-Sibu. We arrived 5 minutes earlier ok! Fine, we know that they have closed the counter but still, we could not, okay, I would not give up the littlest chance I could from saving the few hundreds spent on the ticket. First, I acted as though I was surprised that they would not let me check-in my luggage when the flight hasn't even flown yet. But the Babuji (cos he's Indian) said no, the flight has taken off already. Okay, I did lose a little of my patience that time and replied, "What? But I checked on the screen! The flight hasn't departed yet." If you know me, you know that I hate to lose an argument. But it wasn't an argument because there weren't any to begin with. The verdict is final. Who am I to say otherwise? The flight has flown even in reality, it only took off 17 minutes after we arrived. Yeah, I counted. Because they cannot be bothered to store your luggage when they have already closed the luggage compartment. They also cannot be bothered to have you run to the flight as soon as possible even though it will take less than 5 minutes. Okay, 5 minutes tops. I have done that before, you know. At LCCT, no less. This is MAS airplane in Penang airport, for heaven's sake. It's gonna take me less than that to reach the flight. But no, because I only bought low fair=cheap tickets, I don't have the privilege for any refund and they won't put me in the next flight to KL. Suckers. I know, you'll be saying, "Who ask you buy cheap stuff?" I can guess that. But cheap stuff or not, it's still an exchange of money. I'm a student and I'm on a tight budget so I have a very good reason to buy cheap stuff. Why couldn't I arrive earlier? UGH. This is one of the question that I'm asking the universe. Why can't I arriver earlier???? The car that's supposed to send us off broke down! Halfway on the road coming to fetch us. And at 6 in the morning, without any other phone number... what can I do but wait for the next car? The driver phoned her sister and she came a little too late. It was raining really, really hard. It's as if nature is trying to stop us from arriving on time. Whenever we reach the traffic lights, it's red. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Except once but that is really lucky. But after that one lucky escape, the next wait at the traffic light went on forever. Shitty weather. Shitty car. Shitty traffic lights. All shitty things. No one to blame, so I had to get mad at something or I'll go mad. Seriously.

Event 2:

Yesterday - 2/5/09

My sister and I got chased by a crazy stalker. We were on the bus and suddenly, along came a botak man and sat in front of us and said, "Hello, amoi." We quickly moved one seat behind. He noticed but didn't stop checking us out every 5 minutes. Creepy. So, in order to avoid him talking to me again, I did as Hanis suggested. I took out my MP3 earphone and put it on pretending to be drown out by the music although I really couldn't hear a thing. My earphone is not very good. Never mind, at least, he got the hint. But when we arrived at our destination, he followed us! Seriously. He trailed us all the way. By that time, my heart was already in my throat ready to jump out if anything unthinkable happen. We quickly mingled with the crowd and I grabbed my sister to the nearest store and pretended to be buying something. At last, the man disappeared in the crowd. Even so, my excitement is at the maximum level so I took my sister for a tour around the whole mall just to make sure that the guy is no longer following us before we finally stopped and went to the bank to withdraw some money.

Event 3:

30/4/09

I got sick. Need me to elaborate? Oh, and if that's not bad enough, I had to get sick on the day we moved in to a new house. Just imagine, how do you tidy up the things when you feel so drowsy and your stomach feels as though it's constricted and you do not have any appetite even for a cup of hot chocolate? Life is really harsh then. I love chocolate. I went to see the doctor and I had 8 prescriptions handed to me. Embarassing. The doctor kept reminding me to look after myself. To watch what I eat. To eat on time. And I am not allowed to eat sour or spicy food. WHAT! Those two combination is my favourite (T_T)

Event 4:

28/4/09

My last day of exam. How nice. Except for the fact that I do not get to rest until I finished packing for the move. It was hell. There were so many things to pack and some of them weren't even mine. I hate you, WTF (This is not me cursing, but the initials of the person whom I'm referring to happens to be the same as the initials for my the world's favourite phrase. Coincidence? I hope so :p) Highlight of the day, I got to karaoke with my housemates and sing the stress out. But the implication, I have to pack up until the wee hours and yet, still not finished.

Event 5:

26/4/09

The first of the chain events. I woke up to a nightmare with shouts of vulgar words to lighten up my already bright morning. The landlord invited himself into our already PAID rented apartment and yelled at us for still sleeping. What was that again? Yep, on a SUNDAY morning to wake us up at 9 AM, and scolded us for not letting him in when he had knocked on the door for some time. Excuse me, house owner of the dirty apartment, we paid our rent on time and we couldn't hear your soft knock because we were still fast asleep on our bed in a room which has walls that can filter any unwanted sound from the outside. I thought that's what bedrooms are for? Sleeping. Siao apek. Okay, so we apologized although for what I do not know. But when he just brushed off our apology like it's nothing at all, I got so mad I could kill him. So, being me, without feeling any guilt or shame, I scolded him back. Yep. The old man. I scolded him back. I mean, I wasn't in the wrong, was I? We tried to explain to him and he was going to resort to physical act, so I had to do what I did best - argue. The louder he got, the sterner I became. I don't know, I would be afraid of me at that moment because I was throwing him a fiery look without so much as blink and eye. And, really, I couldn't believe it but the old man actually shrunk a little. He bowed his head a little meekly and in my heart I was like, "Just goes to show you who's the boss here." In my heart, I was acting smug but outward, I acted cool. Hah... anyway, he left after talking some more nonsense. But by that time, the turmoil inside my mind and heart could not be calmed down so easily. So, it took me all I had to focus on my study and not google up the harshest curse word in the world to spit at his face the next time I see him. Oh, I forgot to mention, the old man tried to chased us out of the house at that moment but I told him that I was going to report to the police for invasion of privacy and also for wanting to get physical with us. If he so much as touched me, I would charge him for molest. Besides, before he came, he did not make any appointment or give us any warning. He just showed up at our doorstep and expected us to welcome him in. Banyak hodoh! We're not a bunch of psychics okay! We're only students.

That's about all the unfortunate events we had. Of course, those are major ones. The trivial ones, not worth my time to type. I'd be wasting a lot of space here if I do that.

Asking

People are complicated. And time is not a yardstick. Maybe you have spent your whole life with someone but that does not mean you truly know the person. And if you do not know the person well, misunderstandings are hard to avoid. However, it will be easier if there is trust.

Can there be love if there is no trust?

Lesson Learned

Today, I found out that I am not a good teacher.

It was my first time to teach there. We were having one-to-one teaching and I got nervous. Suddenly everything that I have learned these 3 years just vanished into thin air. I did not know how to react when the child I taught seemed to be controlling the lesson instead of me. I feel so ashamed of myself~

On the Verge of Madness!~!~!~

Stress is inevitable in accomplishing things. It doesn't help at all when the strain is tighten even more each time. Yes, even without procrastination, it is sometimes impossible to finish the task at hand which can fulfill the quality and the quantity. Time is a luxury I do not have right now. Rest is even far-off. When things that used to be enjoyable becomes a chore, it is a sign of danger...

What is the point of doing assignments if it's only to hand in words that are meaningless, only to get low results in the end?

What is the point of doing things where nothing much is learned?

What is the point of giving more work to students with the intention to keep them busy with the academic stuff, just to have them skip other classes to finish it?

What do we learn if all we do is rushing through it all?

At the end of the day, the one thing we remember (sometimes, it's the only thing we remember) is the feeling of how good it is to have finished all the work (regardless of whether we actually did it or we paid someone else to do it for us).

Understand that we are not superhuman. We need all the other things that other human beings enjoy - rest, peace of mind, rest, eat, rest...

What, did I repeat myself? My mind has become blurry and it doesn't want to cooperate.

Oh, well... that comes with stress, you know.

When You Believe

Migraines come and go, much like people we meet in our lives. Some will stay longer than others but some just disappear like chocolate. My migraine usually is the loyal type. It stays as long as it can although I keep telling it to go away. I even tried to poison it by taking some medicine but it proves to be harder to get rid of then I expected.

Yesterday I had a migraine which continues until today. I don't know when it will leave me just to come back again next month or the month after that. Usually, it affects the right side of my head. My eyes would burn and sting as if I had just immersed in chlorinated water without wearing goggles. It leaves me feeling sick and suicidal (no kidding) and yesterday was no different. The thing is that it was Sunday, which means I had to bear with it until the mass in church ends. I was squirming inside, not knowing whether I would be able to survive the pain and hoping that the mass would end quickly. Seeing that it was Fr. Dominic who would conduct the mass made me sigh with relief because I know it would be easier to bear with as his sermons are usually quite interesting. Besides, he talks faster :p

When it was time for the gospel reading, as usual, my eyes were scanning the text in the Sunday Missal before the priest had the chance to read it. What a surprise I had, to find that the gospel reading that day was about Jesus healing the sick. I felt so touched when I came across "... [he] took her by the hand and helped her up. And the fever left her... "

It was as if God was telling me not to worry because Jesus will heal me. All I had to do was believe. I felt better afterwards, not only emotionally but also physically. I had been praying for God to strengthen my faith; to help me believe in Jesus. Believe it or not, I was able to go shopping and also watch movies with my friends and not once did I complain about any headache. Later in the evening though, when I felt a little worn out, I could feel the pain beginning to come back. However, it wasn't as unbearable as it was in the morning. I thank God for that. At least, I was able to follow the plans we've made with ease.

So, if you have any worries or trouble, just leave it all to God in prayer and He will give you rest. All you have to do is believe and he will do the rest. BUT don't forget to thank Him afterwards. Only one out of ten lepers thanked Jesus after they were healed. In which group do you want to belong?


P/S: "When You Believe" is the title of a song sung by Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston for the cartoon animation "Prince of Egypt".